Divine Providence?

Check out this article about a man who says God ordered him to ram his truck into a woman's vehicle on a highway. He crashed into her vehicle while going more than 100 mph because God told him "she needed to be taken off the road."

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/28005693/from/ET/

The guy is undergoing a psychiatric exam.

Apparently, the DA does not believe in God. Why order psych exam for someone that is the vessel of God's word? Blasphemer! He must be ousted from office for doubting the word of God's messenger.

Or, that's my take on it since I'm supposed to believe GW is doing God's will, killing hundreds of thousands without having to undergo a psych exam. Interesting that GW can remove Saddam from the planet, and this driver was only trying to remove a person from the road. Yet, the driver somehow committed the offense that might be indicative of insanity?

I would hope that all the people that came out in defense of GW because he's a God-fearing man will also come out in support of the driver. The sheriff's spokesman even said God was with both of them to keep them alive after such a horrendous accident.

I anxiously await the response from the nut-jobs...

Karma is on a Roll

With a little bit of mayonnaise - dee-lish.

I had just settled in at a local watering hole to watch my Pack play the Vikings. A lady in purple walks by and yells "GO VIKINGS!". Not 1 second later, as she is passing behind me, I heard a loud thud/thunk. I turn to look and she's down on the ground. Apparently, she slipped on a wet spot on the floor. You do not want to anger the Packer Gods.

Within just a few days, karma sped up its delivery from 5 seconds to 1. Just think, if only cable companies could improve that much...

Karma Karamel

A bicyclist flies by in front of me today, tossing a Milky Way candy wrapper on the ground. I'm a little miffed by this. Someone once told me littering is bad, and I now believe it myself. My irritation did not last long, as the wind picked up and the bicyclist's hat blew off and onto the rain-soaked ground. It blew up to me, presenting me with choices:
a) pick up the hat and walk it to him as he circles back for it
b) let it go, laughing at the quick karmic payback
c) accidentally step on it repeatedly
d) cockpunch the bicyclist for littering, ignoring the hat incident
e) option (b) above, and write about it

Obviously, I chose (e), but wish I had chose (c).

The speed of payback reminded me of a time at a local bar years ago. A buddy of mine was making good time with a new acquaintance near the bathrooms. They were in plain sight of our table, so this amused us. Another buddy, we'll call him Rodrigo, decided to make a smart comment to them as he passed on his way into the bathroom. So, we watch as he leans in and needles them for promiscuous PDA and watch him walk directly into the women's room. 1/2 a second later he bolts out and into the men's room. One or more of us might have laughed so hard we had to go to the men's room.

114

That's my new way of ending the "nine eleven" era. For all the abuse of 9/11, and the defenses ("that's pre-9/11 thinking", "9/11 changed everything", etc.), I throw 114 or 11/4 out there as the new milestone date. If someone tries to continue the misguided thinking of the last 7 years, I will call that "pre-11/4 thinking". When they wonder what became of our country, I'll say "11/4 changed everything".

If we regain our status as an international moral leader instead of military leader, if we listen more than we speak, if we treat our own people with respect, if we treat the Constitution as something to heed, if we respect our fellow countries, we can point to 11/4 as the undoing of the post-9/11 crimes imposed by the Bush 43 administration.

With baited breath, I await Obama's actions in contrast to the death-spiral brought about by GW.

Change will still need to be managed - that will be harder than winning the election.

I Can Get An Iron, But...

I've been visiting hotels for 28 years. In all that time, I've never seen a shower/tub combo that anticipated the need for a good place for shampoo. There is no shower caddy. The soap dish is usually contoured and sloped to make sure the shampoo bottles slide into the tub. Would it be that much harder to have a little place for shampoo than it is to make a soap dish?

And where do you put the washcloth?

Idiot Costs Me Sleep

At 4:04am today, I hear my phone ringing. Normally, I wouldn't have heard it, but I got "lucky". It got me thinking that no one I know would call at that time if it wasn't an emergency. I pop out of bed and see I have 4 missed calls and one VM. All the calls were from a number I don't recognize. The message was something like "Micha-slur-ndy please please PLEASE call me back."

Great, a wrong number that doesn't recognize the voice on the VM message is not who he wants. The phone rings again from the same number and I answer.
Idiot: "Michael - it's Andy. I need you to come get me."
Pissed Off Bob: "This is not Michael."
Idiot: "Yes, it is."
POB: I'm not Michael, and there is no MIchael at this number."
Idiot: (mumble) "Fuc.." (click)

I kinda fall back to sleep grousing about the idiot. I wake find 3 more missed calls from the same number. How many times does it take for this clown to figure out I'm not Michael, he's got the wrong number, and he's not responsible enough to use a phone?

The only thing that gave me joy was that maybe the guy was in the drunk tank and had to stay over night because he doesn't know the number of any of his friends or family.

I sure hope he's not voting...

Some People

I was at my usual bar, when a old high school friend came up to me. I see him between zero and 2 times per year. We chat, he goes back to his group. A bit later, I'm enjoying some music on the jukebox when a woman that looked kinda familiar asks the bartender is she knows who sings the song on the jukebox. I overhear and thought I'd help out.

Me: It's Scandal.
Her: I think it's Pat Benatar.
Me: I know it's Scandal.
Her: I positive it's Pat Benatar.
Me: I put it in the jukebox - it's Scandal.
Her: Pat Benatar.
Me: I have the album at home, I just converted this song, "Goodbye To You", to mp3, and I put it in the jukebox. I'm pretty sure it's Scandal.
Her: No, I KNOW it's Pat Benatar.
Manager walking by: Oh Scandal...with Patty Smyth (but he pronounced it Smith).
Her: It's not Patti Smith.
Me: Scandal, featuring Patty Smyth.
Her: (wandering away) It's Pat Benatar...

Interesting - the more she was confronted with information, the more sure she was that it was wrong. She never contested that I DIDN'T put in the song, just that I didn't know who I had put in. This was extra funny to me since I had to type in "SCAND" to find the artist's available songs to download "Goodbye to You". I'm pretty sure I would have noticed I was typing in "PAT BEN".

A little later, I see the woman walking next to my old high school friend and remembered that she is his wife. That will be a funny encounter next time I see them together. I'm sure she did not recognize me then, but probably will in the future after that exchange.

A little more later, I put a Pat Benatar song in just in case the opportunity arose to point out what Pat Benatar sounds like...

The Market Works

My favorite pizza place (a block from my house) recently changed their closing hours. This, after a shrinking of their menu (sandwiches went bye-bye), seems odd. If you are struggling for business, being open less often merely reduces your payroll. And your revenue.

So, I know it takes 30 minutes to make a stuffed pizza, and 15-20 for an unstuffed. I conscientiously try to call with enough lead time to allow them to clean up before they close. But they didn't tell me the new hours. A few weeks back, I showed up late for a pizza only to find the employees EATING it. When I ordered the pizza, they asked for my phone number - the same one I've used for years - but never called to find out if I was on my way. Why ask for a phone number if you are not going to use it in that situation? When would they use it?

I was miffed, but got over it. Tonight, I was in the mood for a stuffed pizza, but was still ignorant of the closing time change. I called at 1:10 for a 30-minute pizza at a place that I thought closes at 2:30am, but in reality closes at 2am. I thought I was safe. Wrong. Only unstuffed was available. I groused a little, but ordered the thin stuff.

The more I thought about it, the more I was beyond miffed. I stroll in at 1:30:
Me: why I could I not get a 30-minute pizza at 1:10?
Stoner: we stop making stuffed at 1am (fully 1.5 hours before bar time).
Me: why?
Stoner: cuz we stop making them at 1am.
Me: I heard you, but that's not a why answer.
2nd Stoner: We need time to clean up.
Me: Then list your closing time as 1:30 so people know when you actually stop. Or 1.
2nd Stoner: You need to talk to Jim about that - he sets the hours.
Me: Should I call here during the day?
2nd Stoner: You won't get hold of him.
Me: Why?
2nd Stoner: He's never here.
Me: How would I get hold of him?
2nd Stoner (with Stoner's agreement): Don't know.

So, how nice of them to recommend that I talk to a person that, for all I know, doesn't exist. At best, he's just not reachable ever.

I'm just guessing, from all my previous experience, that as you get closer to bar time, drunks think more about that last unneeded meal of the day. Staying open until just before the drunks are loosed on the town seems odd. Might as well close at midnight.

This reminds me of a deli (also near my house) that had a nice selection of hot items for lunch. They kept them around until 5pm and then put them away. This bewildered me: the slowest time for food is between lunch and dinner. If you are going to not have food available for dinner, why have it available between 1 and 5pm? Or, if you have food still available at 5, why put it away? People on their way home might actually give you currency in exchange for food items in a semi-warm state. That place closed shortly after making that policy.

I wonder how long my pizza place will be there. Reducing access to the product seems like an odd way to stay in business.

In the day of 24-hour everything, these visionaries foresee a day when you can never find their product available. I guess that's one way of creating artificial demand: give the perception that your product is rare and hard to get.