Charter Can Suck My A$$

For the last 3 weeks, my home internet service (provided by Charter) has been painfully slow. Not only for my laptop, but for my niece's laptop, too. Due to Charter's unreliability on good days, I've learned the tricks for resetting the modem and my wireless router. This often helped for a very short period. After a while, I got tired of this and called Charter for my routine discussion with them. That was 2-3 weeks ago. We restarted the modem and router. They asked me to verify speed at speakeasy.net/speedtest. Resetting raised the speed from around 400kbps to around 4000kbps. Yay.

Of course, that didn't last long and we limped along for a while (mostly because I wasn't home much and she didn't complain often to me). I could get 400kbps through the router, but nothing with a direction connection from the modem. On Wednesday, I called again. Same routine, except the agent said speakeasy.net is meant for DSL and I should use speedtest.net. Great. The speed was not improved by the reboots, and I could not get direct connectivity. The agent concluded that I needed an upgrade of the router firmware and there was a problem with my comm port. And that it effected both laptops because of spyware because we probably had the same computing patterns. I pointed out a 19-year-old woman and a 43-year-old man probably weren't using the same pattern. Since the router is 7 years old, I thought I'd buy a new one instead of upgrading the firmware (the agent said he's not as rich as me to be able to afford that).

I buy the new router, and guess what, it cannot find connectivity to the internet. I take the router and laptop into the office and get it configured and prove that it does work and the comm port on the laptop works. Once I get home again, no dice. The old router barely works (400), but the new and direct connection to either laptop is a failure.

Today, I call Charter to complain about the modem. I explain the repeated pattern, the repeated calls. The agent tells me I've only called once about the problem. I point out that today is also a call... The Wednesday agent never logged the call. Bastard. We reboot and connect direct from modem to laptop. Speed was checked by speakeasy.net/speedtest (nice consistency) as 4800. I told the agent this proved nothing because that's exactly what happens every time before the speed goes away. I said that with multiple laptops, and multiple routers, the problem points to the modem. Agent says then it's the cable. I counter that 3 cables varying from 8 years old to brand new have been used and it doesn't matter. She countered that I need to leave the laptop connected to the modem for several hours/a good part of the day. Then they can monitor. But their records show the modem has never dropped. I pointed out my complaint is not between the modem and their server, but between the modem and my laptop.

I let her know that we was not listening to me, and she proceeded to tell me how I was wrong about my diagnosis. She kept talking even when it was my time, or she interjected in the middle of my talking time. I snapped and asked did I get connected to "Argument" or "Customer Service"?

The agents said that if I connect to the router again, I'd have to start all over by calling them and then leaving the laptop connected, or call the router's support to diagnose the modem problem. I asked why it's the router company's responsibility to diagnose Charter's modem problem? How could they do it if Charter cannot?

We went round and round about this for 15 minutes. I told her that my next step is to take the modem to Charter and find a new provider. I said "how about I check the speed again?" Guess what, speed was down to 2800 in a span of 20 minutes. And guess what more? I didn't connect the modem to the evil router. The agent got silent and said she had to test something. She put me on hold saying a tech supervisor was looking at the situation. After 10-15, I tested a couple times and it was down to 1635. Obviously, the modem is just fine...

The agent came back and said they are seeing connections being dropped inside the modem. I was stunned. How could it be the modem? I thought the agent(s) ruled that out. I thought it was everything else's fault but Charter's modem. I was nice and didn't say I TOLD YOU SO. The agent said they need to schedule a technician to stop by and look at the modem. The agent said she'd make sure the technician brings a modem. I said that would be fantastic.

The agent asks if there's anything else she could help me with and that was the end of the call.

No apology, no acknowledgment that I was accurate in my diagnosis. But, wow, her voice was that of a humbled person. I'm sure Charter's scripts clearly state never to apologize to a customer because the customer might feel they are entitled to something.

I'm out $60 and a butt-load of my time and we finally get to the heart of the matter.

Charter is a short-timer at my place. Now, which other evil corporation shall I get in bed with?

TP Barnum

Yes, that's TP, not PT. PT was the guy attributed with saying "there's a sucker born every minute". Well, the cheap-ass toilet paper lobby found their suckers in those that order the crap for campus buildings. Instead of normal toilet paper, all stalls seem to be converted to the non-absorbent, narrow, non-perforated giant roll encased in a plastic, high-security dispenser.

I'm sure the price per foot is lower, and there was some deal on the dispenser purchase, but what a classic case of penny-wise and pound-foolish. Using this new tissue (suitable only for gift wrapping) is an experience in inefficiency. Not only does it take more footage to do the job, but it takes more time. Time that some of us are supposed to be devoting to producing value for the campus. What are the odds that staff, spending more time in the closing moments of their deposit, will stay late to make up that time? Not bloody likely. Digging the roll-end out of the dispenser is a treat. Getting the right length on the first try is rare, so there are multiple attempts to get a sufficient thickness built up. Because the roll is narrower, to get the same volume as before requires more footage. Because its non-absorbent, even more footage is needed to make sure the effort was worthwhile.

So, how many complaints are lodged? Probably somewhere less than 1. Who wants to be known as the person having trouble taking care of business? And it's not like there's an anonymous comments card handy. Unless you want to write it on the TP since it's not suited for its intended purpose.

Wipers of the world unite!!!!!!

Election Strategy

So, I was chatting with my sister blogger at FemmeFare and it seems like Obama's special voting bloc is comprised of hipsters and young, occasional voters. McSame is counting on the racist bloc. So, in an effort to improve Obama's odds, how about we lobby to have hipster and campus bars closed on the Monday before the election, not opening until 8pm the day of the election so his bloc won't be nursing hangovers or drinking all day and forget to vote. Conversely, redneck bars can remain open all night long and into the day.

Think about it. Wouldn't it be nice to hear Republican faithful crying for 4+ years about how the election was stolen?